Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

In the United States, one in three teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they’re in a relationship with before becoming adults. Forty-three percent of U.S. college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors.

February is recognized as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), created to raise awareness about teen dating violence by focusing on advocacy and education to stop dating abuse before it starts.

Teenage romantic relationships are more likely to turn violent when:

• Teens are not mature enough to communicate their feelings to their romantic partners;
• Teens do not understand how to communicate effectively with their romantic partners;
• Teens are depressed or suffer from anxiety or other emotional problems;
• Teens are pressured into behaving in ways they ordinarily wouldn’t by their peers; or
• Drugs or alcohol are introduced.

Communication is the first step in preventing dating violence. Parents and adults play a key role in helping teens avoid dating violence by establishing open lines of communication and setting positive examples of healthy relationships. Seeing violent relationships in the home or in the media may normalize any violent or damaging behavior within their own relationships. Talking to teens – and making sure both boys and girls understand the importance of trust, respect, and honesty in relationships – can help to lay a foundation for healthy interpersonal relationships.

Healthy relationships all depend on a few key elements: healthy communication, healthy boundaries, mutual respect, and support for one another. Adults can help teach teens how to set and respect boundaries. They should encourage a relationship where teens feel comfortable expressing their wants, goals, fears, and limits, and everyone’s boundaries are honored.

It is important to teach teens about consent, where partners are comfortable expressing what they want to do together. Everyone has a right to their own body and to feel comfortable in their relationships. Teens need to understand they should have such discussions regularly: consent in one moment is not consent in the future, and nobody is ever obligated to give consent even if they’ve done so in the past. They should feel comfortable asking:

• “Are you comfortable?”
• “Is this okay?”
• “Do you want to slow down?”
• “Do you want to go any further?”

Parents can help teens recognize unhealthy, violent, or negative dating relationship behaviors. Abuse is a pattern of coercive, intimidating, or manipulative behaviors used to exert power and control over a partner. It comes in many forms and makes the victim question their own self-worth and become further entrenched in the abusive relationship. Typical warning signs of abuse include:

• Checking phones, email, or social media accounts without permission.
• Frequently degrading behavior, especially in front of others.
• Isolation from friends or family (physically, financially, or emotionally).
• Extreme jealousy or insecurity.
• Explosive outbursts, temper, or mood swings.
• Any form of physical harm.
• Possessiveness or controlling behavior.
• Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex.

The best thing we can do as adults is to encourage a line of communication that doesn’t have strings or punishments attached. And remind teens that if they are afraid to speak with their parents or guardians, they should speak to an adult with whom they have an admiration and trust.

Sources: loveisrespect.org and teendvmonth.org